30 Days

He is 30 days clean and sober.  Today he is scheduled to move into Sober Living.  He is strong, happy and positive he's ready to put recovery first now.   These were all such great gifts!  I would give anything to right the wrongs in his life. I wish I was the job he needs to be self sufficient, the car he needs to drive himself to work, the food and shelter he needs to be safe and sheltered, the cure for his addiction, the abundance of love in his heart so that he would not feel sadness or fear.  I know I can't be or do any of those things for him, but I can be his mom who will love him through it.  I wonder if he knows how often I think of him throughout my day and send him positive thoughts as if I have magical powers.  I'm going to focus on the gifts I have today and try not to worry about the future too much.

Serenity isn't a matter of chance; it's a matter of choice....

3 weeks

Today has been an especially emotional day for some reason.  Brent has 3 weeks of recovery behind him and it seems like the world is against him.  I remind him and I that we can only live by the words of the Serenity prayer.  I hope that the legal challenges he is about to face won't be so severe and yet just enough to be the final wake up call that puts him permanently on a path to recovery.  Today he called and called me an Al-Anon thumper. LOL!  Not sure what that means, but I'll take it as a compliment.  It was good to hear him joke and laugh on the phone with me.   My reading for today in the book Courage to Change was very insightful....

"there is a guidance for each of us, and by lowly listening we shall hear the right word....Place yourself in the middle of the stream of power and wisdom which flows into your life. Then, without effort, you are impelled to truth and to perfect contentment".   -Ralph Waldo-Emerson