Parenting Moments

My mom says we only get what we can handle, but lately I feel like someone got out of line ahead of me and said "can you hold this?" and then never came back.  How is it possible that on the same day I'm having two completely extreme parenting moments? My son calls saying he's hungry, wants me to get him a hotel room. I say no. He says he's going to kill himself.  I barely sleep at all and the alarm goes off at 5am as planned. This day is for my daughter - celebrating her success and entry into a new university. I was so honored and happy that she asked me to take part in the day registering and exploring her new school. I could not be more proud of her.  She has goals, she has ambition and drive. I know she will succeed. Towards the end of my day dad calls. This is another odd part of my life. I was never very close with the man, mostly he scared me.  I never measured up to his expectations and I don't think in all my childhood he ever told me he loved me. After his stroke he started calling me day and night literally.

Some days he's the US President and might not have time to see me, some days he calls to say 'I love you' and that he's planning a vacation and he wants me and my family to go. I love this version of my dad and I'm glad I have this time with him crazy or not.  I love the woman my daughter is turning into right before my eyes.  Brent says he's going to try detox again tomorrow.  I'm glad he's still trying.    I know he has the strength to get clean and sober.  Lately, his words to me are hurtful, mean and scary.  That is the addiction not my son. I want my son back and when he does come back maybe he and I can have a day like I did with Lexi today.   I really hope so...